Patience or Frustration?

Last week I put myself out there in a way I never had before.

Throughout the years, I have constantly heard that I was a “leader.” However, as I reflected on the numerous mistakes, some small and some extremely detrimental, I’ve made along the way, I began to doubt that. In the process of working through this time of self-reflection, I reached out to ten individuals that I interact with on a regular basis for insight. My ten individuals consisted of family members, co-workers, those I lead, colleagues, and friends. I asked each of them to be as brutally honest as possible and to answer two simple questions; what are my top three strengths and my top three areas for growth. While this seems like a very simple exercise, it revealed a lot about how others see me and my ability to lead.

As someone who typically assumes a position of leadership, the strengths they listed didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was the most common response for growth; patience.

Out of the ten respondents, eight of them included patience in some form, specifically for my future. If eighty percent of people that I interact with on a regular basis believe that I need to grow in the area of patience, there must be some truth to it. It made me think long and hard about it.

After a few days of reflection, it finally hit me that they were only partially right. While I will admit that I have historically been very impatient, especially when trying to accomplish goals for my future, I know I am in a process of transformation.

However, if I looked back over the last decade of my life and used that metric as they did, I would agree with all of them. I do need to be patient for my future. The path of self-destruction I was on to achieve my lofty goals only caused me frustration. But the bigger question I asked was, why? Why has this path caused me such frustration? Even with success, I still experienced frustration.

The answer was simple. I was striving to achieve goals that weren’t meant for me. Don’t hear me wrong, my goals weren’t bad goals, but they weren’t the ones I was called to.

My experience reminds me of the story of Jonah. Jonah knew that God was calling him to fulfill a certain purpose, to “proclaim judgement” against the city of Nineveh. But Jonah had plans of his own and “ran from the presence of the Lord” to a different city. While on his journey he caused a little trouble and found himself inside the belly of a large fish; I can guarantee you that he was frustrated for those three days and nights. Eventually, even in his disobedience, Jonah found himself on the path to fulfill his calling.

While the journey looks different for all of us, I am thankful that we serve a God that can use us for our calling, regardless of when we submit.

Although I’ve had my own experience with disobedience, I finally find myself committing only to pursue what I have been called to. For the first time in my adult life, I do not feel a burden associated with achieving my goals. My sense of peace affirms that I am beginning to walk where God has called me.

The level of freedom and pure joy that I have experienced by returning to the path of my true calling is indescribable. While I would not trade the lessons that I have learned over the last fifteen years, part of me can only imagine where I might be if I didn’t run from my calling.

I don’t know where you currently find yourself, but if you are experiencing frustration in life, maybe you’re chasing the wrong goals. I encourage you to take a look at what you’re trying to accomplish.

A Life of Service

Having only attended 3 or 4 services at Connect Church, I walked in that Sunday remembering there was going to be a guest speaker. I thought to myself, “Well dang, this is either going to be a huge hit, or a big waste of time.” Our pastor got up and began introducing the speaker as a mentor and spiritual father, but then he said the words that made me tune right out… missionary . Having grown up in church, I knew having a guest speaker talk about missions meant the service would be less than engaging and more than likely a lousy sales pitch for funding. Now, in full disclosure, Pastor said President of OneHope, a global Mission Organization, but all I heard was “missionary.” I remember thinking, “this will be a snooze fest.” My experience with missions in my previous denominational context led me to boredom and disengagement.

This service was different. This guy was different. His story was different. His passion was different. Immediately, I was captivated by what he was saying. As he told story after story of the organizations history in country after country, I began to see they were making a major impact all over the globe. Once he finished sharing about OneHope, I wanted more. They announced at the conclusion of that service, that in June they would be partnering with OneHope for a mission trip. I knew no one in the church, but following the service, I texted the pastor from the parking lot, “I’m in.”

Fast forward a few weeks later to June of 2017. I found myself on an airplane headed towards Bogotá, Colombia with a group of people I didn’t know, from a church that I wasn’t very connected to. I was nervous. I was anxious. In full transparency, I was regretting my decision. Little did I know, in seven short days, my life would never be the same.

As we walked through the schools and orphanages of Colombia, I began to see that these people were living with real pain. They were longing for any sign of hope, but they were also resilient. They didn’t need material things for a smile to be beaming on their face. Standing among them, my perspective began to shift. While sharing the Word with them, I realized their pain wasn’t much different than the pain I’d been suppressing myself. I began to see that while we have endless material wealth in the United States, we are just as broken. Standing in the streets of Bogota, I realized for the first time that we are a world of broken people. The only thing that can bring true joy to all of life’s circumstances is peace found only in God.

When I arrived back in the United States, I was shaken and confused. Prior to our trip, I had a significant amount of worldly success and received many accolades in my business. None of that brought fulfillment to my life though, like being in a foreign country sharing God’s love. I didn’t know then, but recognize now, that God was calling me to be all in. In those moments, I realized true joy in life is found in serving others.

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, “I’m not sure about the idea of serving”. I’ll admit, I was quite apprehensive at first myself. I encourage you to start small. Not everyone is called to go on, or needs to serve in global missions. There are daily opportunities for you to serve others. At the very essence of Jesus you find service. In our pursuit of becoming Christ-like, what better way than to start each day with an attitude of service.

“ For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 (ESV)

Connected Community

A few months ago, in my effort to be intentional about what God is calling me to do, I started making decisions that to some others didn’t make sense. One of those decisions was to sell my truck. If you know me, that doesn’t sound like the most bizarre thing—I got my first car at 15 years old, and since then I’ve owned nine different vehicles, all of them completely unique. I went from a 1992 Ford Explorer to a BMW to a brand new 4-door Jeep Wrangler with a four inch lift, plus a few more in between. (I still really miss my Jeep). This time though was a little different, I bought a very small and practical car. This new car is something Dave Ramsey would encourage one of his listeners to buy.

Sometimes though when you buy a “beater”, as Dave calls it, you inherit the problems. The first problem I inherited was that after only two weeks of driving the car, the transmission had to be replaced…that wasn’t the biggest issue though. The biggest issue I faced with this car was that it already had an owner— an ant community. Yep, that’s right, my car was COMPLETELY infested with ants.

As I began to strategize, I knew I’d have to outsmart them to rid my vehicle of them. At the time, I had about 100 different thoughts racing through my head. Where are they living? How did they get in my car? What will get them out? My first plan of attack was to take apart the covering of the gear shifter where I first noticed them crawling. When I shed light into that space, I noticed food crumbs left from the previous owner. I vacuumed and cleaned out that area. Thinking I had gotten rid of their food source, I was confident that I had fixed my problem… WRONG. The next day I got back in the car and much to my dismay, the ants were back. I realized since there wasn’t food anywhere else in the car, there had to be another reason drawing them inside.

Over the course of two weeks I learned a lot about ants. They are very tenacious and determined insects; but most importantly they are a species that lives and dies based on their community.

In hindsight, I wish I could have experienced the ant infestation years ago; not because it was an enjoyable experience, but because it was a great illustration of a lesson I myself learned a couple years ago.

During the early stages of my agency, I realized it’s difficult being a single guy working to build a successful business. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of perks- no one was asking when I was coming home, or getting mad if I worked 18 hours a day/7 days a week, but the downside was huge. I was exhausted. I wasn’t looking out for my well-being, and I was chasing my own desires. If all of that doesn’t sound bad enough… I was alone. I was investing so much energy and effort into creating something for myself, that I pushed away those closest to me.

Fortunately, I eventually learned what Solomon pointed out to us in Ecclesiastes… it’s all vanity.

“All [that is done without God’s guidance] is vanity”

Ecclesiastes 1:2 (AMP)

When I got to this point though, it left me confused and lost.

Not knowing which way to go, I began investing in a relationship that started out simply as meeting for coffee once every couple weeks. The conversations soon led to coffee on a near weekly basis. Through these weekly meetings, I truly discovered a real relationship, one that left me hungry for more. I began to think, “I need to follow this guy”. Fortunately he was a Pastor, so it was easy to “follow” him.

I began attending his church and there found more relationships. I learned quickly that just like the ants, we all need community to prosper.

Growing up, church was just church, simply a box to check off on the religious list of duties. But after experiencing life, I began to realize there was more to God’s design of church than a checklist. We are designed for community. We are meant to be in community. Life is not meant to be lived alone.

While I cannot speak to your current situation, I can guarantee that if you find a church that values community, you will begin to see real life change.

If you’re having trouble finding a local church, I suggest checking out this website for starters:

www.arcchurches.com

Finding Joy in Your Work

Have you ever had a job that you didn’t really like? Maybe the job wasn’t terrible, but the boss that you worked for made you dread every moment of being at work? I‘m sure we’ve all been there at some point. When I was in high school, I worked for a large grocery store chain for a short period of time, and I hated every minute of it. From that moment, I used that experience as my metric for if a job was “bad”. After leaving my job there, I went to work for a family friend at a BBQ restaurant. That experience turned out to be just the opposite—it was hands down my favorite job in the world. (If I’m being honest, still one of the questions I ask today on a new job site is, “is this as enjoyable as my time at Whitt’s?”) As silly as it sounds, that became the metric I used for job satisfaction in my early working career in the political world, and then working in an insurance agency.

As time passed by though, I forgot about that little test I used to use. A year into owning my own business, I thought…“this is worse than working at Kroger.” I thought it was going to be “sunshine and rainbows,” but really I was just as miserable as when I worked for someone else. The years leading up to the point of opening my own agency were three years, that in full transparency, were not focused on the plan of God or the purpose God had for my life. The three years that lead to this point where I am today focused on me and my plan. They were focused on accomplishing what Charlie wanted to do; on achieving the things that I desired– money, power, and fame. I was slowly realizing that the endless pursuit of those things wasn’t going to bring me true joy.

The first year of owning my own agency became a very difficult year, both personally and professionally. It was difficult personally because I felt like I was at rock bottom. From the outside though, it looked great. In the political world, I learned how to master the art of making a fake façade, which is exactly what I did for everyone around me. It was difficult professionally because the demands of the business caused me to be crippled by overbearing business expenses and unrealistic expectations to maintain the success of our Agency. On top of that, I was finding no joy in what I was doing. In fact, I became resentful to the company I represented, the agency I created, and the industry I was in.

If I were to say that I have completely found true joy in running my business, I would be lying. The reason for that though is not because I don’t enjoy it, but rather I know that is not where true joy is found. Joy is not found in material things, or in things that we accomplish; but in living out our purpose.

Over the last 15 months, God has put me on a journey that I never thought I would be on. As I have leaned into God, I’ve begun to see there is a direct calling on my life and there is a purpose that God has for me. The things I desired have changed too; it’s no longer about money, power, or fame, but instead about wealth, influence, and making Jesus known. (I’ll share more about this in another post.)

If you’re reading this, I hope that you see that no matter where you are on your journey, God has a calling for your life as well. He has called each of us to a specific purpose. I simply ask you to take the next step. For me, it all changed when I adopted Proverbs 16:3 as my verse of the year in 2018, and I released control to God. I encourage each of you to go on that journey for your own life.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” -Proverbs 16:3