Marriage, a month in

It’s hard to believe that it has already been four whole weeks. Truthfully, this first month of marriage has flown by for both of us. As you read in the last blog, or may have heard Charlie say (it’s his favorite story), 8 of the last 30 days were spent in Mexico, so how could it be bad?

As we have begun adjusting to this new normal, we wanted to write a blog together to share what we’ve learned thus far.

Be INTENTIONAL—you’ve heard us say this before. Intentional was our word from the very first weekend we went on a date, and it has stuck ever since. We’ve seen it happen with friends, family, acquaintances—they begin to feel unseen, unheard, unloved…it’s a major issue in our society. Ask yourself every day, is my spouse getting the best of me, or just my leftovers?
Keep going on dates! We’ve made it a plan to have at least one date day/night a week. No phones, just each-others undivided attention to truly communicate without distraction and to make new memories. We want to get in this habit now because we know once kids come along, this will be even harder to do, but even more important!
Cherish each other—while we were engaged we read a book called Cherish by Gary Thomas. The little things matter—what can you be doing to show the other person you truly care? Maybe it’s coming home from a long day of work to dinner and the chores being done, or maybe it’s walking your dog in the snow while the other stays warm inside.
Communicate early and often—have something bothering you? TALK ABOUT IT! Don’t let things build up and eat away at you until you blow up. If there is an issue, find a win-win solution—don’t let there be a winner or a loser.
Have fun, be playful. Don’t think that just because you’re an old married couple now that you can’t flirt with each other!

We hope this blog will encourage others in their marriage, but most importantly will serve as a reminder for us in the years to come. As the years go by and the “newness” fades, we want to be able to look back to see what made our marriage so strong in the beginning.

We are obviously still very new at this marriage thing and just figuring it out, so if you have tips that you would add to the list drop them in the comments below!

We are so excited and expectant for how God is going to move in this new season. He continues to remind us on a daily basis, that He is in control, and that as long as He is our foundation, together we can move mountains.

Marriage, thirty days in. Best. Decision. Yet.

Relax, we’re all busy

Busy. Busy is what planning a wedding will make you. It will make you so busy that you will probably go over a month without posting a blog… my bad. I promise to try and do better; but let’s be honest, life is just busy. The thing is though, I am not the only one that experiences busyness.

Busy is how we live our lives. In fact, in America we wear our busyness as a badge of honor. The busier we are then somehow the more significant our life is and the greater our impact will be. I can say that I too fell into the trap of the busier the better. If I am being transparent, I am currently in the process of coming out of the busiest season of my life. After looking back over this past season, I can confidently say that most of it was self-inflicted. By nature, I like to say yes. By God’s design, I like to lead. So when asked to oversee this, manage that, run this; I have historically always said yes. I am now intentionally practicing my “no”; because in the end most of it is meaningless.

Of course, there were many great things that happened in this past season of saying yes. My renewed commitment to Christ. My new marriage. The resurrection of old dreams. The new found clarity on my purpose. But, on the whole, I can say that the sleepless nights and non-stop days working were not worth it.

I can admit that over the last few years, I have heard several sermons on taking days to rest- or practicing the Sabbath; but none of them actually connected until recently.

About three weeks ago, Paige and I were preparing to board a plane for Mexico to celebrate our honeymoon. On this trip I took a massive step… I left my work phone at home. In fact, I left everything work related in the US. I decided to leave it as a commitment to my new wife, and as a symbol of the beginning of our marriage focused solely on us.

If I am being honest though, I was pretty anxious leaving work behind. Ever since joining the “real” workforce at the age of 19, I had never been on a vacation where I was not “available” to those back home. Most of my career has been in sales, where you are always available to your customers. When I owned my own insurance agency, I was accessible 24/7 to my staff and clients. So for me, I was going to be truly disconnected for the very first time.

But what was I so anxious about? I mean, do I think I am really that valuable to my company? Of course not. I was anxious because I was afraid of “falling behind” the competition.

“Therefore I tell you, stop being worried or anxious about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, as to what you will wear. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?” – Matthew 6:25-26

I once heard a Pastor say that we have become more concerned with the pursuit of the American Dream than we are fulfilling the calling of God. Quite simply, that’s the truth for me. At the root of my anxiousness is the lack of trust in God’s provision.

But after a day or two in Mexico, I slowly started to realize that something was happening. I was becoming recharged. Now that we are back in our normal routine, I feel more refreshed and rejuvenated than I ever have.

Rest is a reoccurring theme seen throughout the Bible. God designed us to rest. Isn’t it amazing that when I finally found time to rest, I became more aware of God’s presence.

Paige and I have begun working on our family goals for 2020, and you better believe that at the top of the list is a WEEKLY SABBATH. Or in other words, a day of intentional rest. Time that we can rest and rejuvenate in God’s presence.

My challenge for everyone reading this is to rest. We are all in different seasons and have different circumstances that effect our decisions; but I assure you in the end all of the tireless work will be meaningless. While this concept seems counter-cultural, my goal for 2020 is to do less. I am putting my faith in accomplishing more with God in six days than I can by myself in seven days.

Less is more with God.

365 Days Later

In preparation for a major decision before me, I had a conversation with my good friend, Keith. In that conversation, Keith made a statement that could not have been more of a divinely inspired truth than if it came out of the mouth of Billy Graham himself. In the midst of our conversation, Keith said, “One year from now our lives are going to look completely different.” Boy, was he right; because three hundred and sixty-five (365) days ago my entire life changed forever.

On September 30, 2018, I woke up in Boulder, Colorado in the wee hours of the morning, hoping to catch a beautiful sunrise over the mountains in Estes Park. I wasn’t alone on this journey though, my girlfriend was sitting (sleeping) in the seat next to me in our rented Camaro. As we drove towards Brainard Lake that morning, I knew my life was going to change, while she on the other hand just anticipated another failed attempt of ours to catch the sunrise (side note- we don’t have the best track record of actually experiencing sunrises).

We arrived to Estes Park in total darkness and stumbled our way to what I had described to Paige as the “premier” spot. The only problem I encountered was trying to sell her on that spot, because she knew we should have been on the other side of the mountain to see a clear shot of the sunrise. Inside, she was marking this down as another failed attempt to see the sunrise.

Fast forward half an hour, Paige lost track of the fact that we were on the wrong side of the mountain, when she noticed that I was down on one knee. If you haven’t followed along with the story up until this point, Paige and I got engaged 365 days ago.

Many lessons have been learned this past year. I have learned how to be more loving. I have learned how to be a better communicator. I have learned to trust God more. I have learned that I will fail Paige.

Many things have changed this past year. I have moved three times. I have sold a house. I have sold two cars. I have shut down a business. I have started a new job.

While the external changes are important, the internal changes are that much more important. Most people will only see the external transitions, but may miss altogether the internal transitions I have experienced.

As I reflect on the last year, I cannot help but become more excited about the years to come. Paige and I are only 18 days away from making a life-time commitment of forever to each other, but also making a pledge to commit our marriage to whatever God calls us to. Over the last year, God has revealed promises to both of us that we know will never come to fruition without His hand of provision. From the outside looking in, it may not seem like all the pieces are fitting together. It may not look like we are taking life defining risks, but the changes that we have experienced internally together have influenced the trajectory of our lives and marriage. The changes haven’t been quick or overnight; but rooted in God’s timing.

“So be humble under God’s powerful hand. Then he will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to him, because he cares for you” – 1 Peter 5:6-7 ERV

When we began dating, we committed to being intentional. By being intentional in our relationship with each other and with Christ, we have experienced unexplained favor. Together, we are looking forward to our next season of life as we enter it with expectancy.

You need to know that no matter where life has you positioned right now, real life change can happen. However, that life change will only happen when you begin to press in and allow the Holy Spirit to work within you. As the work is being done within you, you will gradually become more like Christ.

You may not notice the change right away, but you will see it when you reflect back 365 days later. I can assure you of this, “One year from now our lives are going to look completely different.”

365 Days = Life Change.